EXCERPTS FROM EDEN ‘99 CH. 13 “HELLOOOOOO, NURSE”

Medic!!! Super Natural

CONRAD 

Yall ditch. You and Tyler. You hit up the nurse's office where Chong’s chilling for no good reason. It’s awkward for everybody there because neither of you want to be seen and (with maybe the exception of Violet) nobody wants to be seen with us either. But Tyler told Violet to meet her at Ryan’s van. She stopped dead in her tracks, trying to keep up when Tyler said that and straight turned her back, marching in the opposite direction without a word. Chong waits like a rubber neck for us while the nurse applies ice to our bruises and demands an alibi. Tyler speaks for us. “We lost our tempers. Testosterone. We’re closer for it, right, bro?” Tyler chunks the weakest love-tap, fist bump you’ve ever felt, all flaccid and zombified. Even Chong notices, frowns suspiciously at you, like, “What’s up with that pound?” 

She’s not gentle with you, the nurse, all, like, “That’s what you get,” Aside from cramming a Ziplock bag full of ice on your deformed faces, there’s not much else for her to do to help us accept for not using her emergency walkie to report anything to Mahoney and where the hell was Thunder Thighs for once? Then, as a final punishment, she reaches under the cabinet and breaks the seal on an unopened bag of Hawaiian salt, like washing your mouths out with soap, you gargle the sea salt that stabs like a prick in your torn face.  Soon enough, the salty prick shrivels, magically disappearing like a magician's super foxy assistant.  

She breaks a leaf off the raw alloy growing on her desk like a centerpiece succulant and smears it across your cuts and bruised scrapes like burst zits. The plant stinks to high heaven but her whole holistic approach to medicine works like a charm. The fires dampens, the burning’s snuffed out.

Then we broke out with Bradly, “match,” he challenges, despite the nurses voices rising, her insistence that we stick around, lay down, rest.  

If that isn’t a slap on the wrist, I don’t know what is. 

She throws herself in front of the door before the threshold, like an instinctive last second shot and blurts, “It’s okay to ask for help sometimes, Tyler.” her eyes slightly flutter, choking tears.  

Tyler’s eyes are blank, his stare somehow missing. Tyler stands straight up, always the highest head in the room when he wasn't slouching, not to mention the spontaneous appearance of his monstrous cock and says plainly, “Outta my way, lady. You don’t get it lady. It hurts being this pretty.”  

The nurse persists, “It’s okay to ask for help. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m trying to help you. How dan I help you.”

Tyler tsks.

“You can’t charm your way through life. Charisma will only take you so far.”

“Watch me,” Tyler replies.

At first she stands her ground, frigid, until nurse too recognizes it-the nothingness and the brain fart of what Chucky did poofs in her memory. She steps aside cautiously and we’re out.